Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Texts of Antiquity IX: Waste Management (Antenna #39, Miami Beach, 1991)

Waste Management: You Asked for It! South Florida's Number One Exclusive Lesbian Connection!

The final column in the Waste Management series. Tears may have fallen, but evidence of a torrent was never verified... All Night Long featured the first on-screen appearance of Charles Mingus...

Daniel Whitaker is a professional astrologer certified by The American Federation of Astrologers and a member of The South Florida Astrological Association. Having studied the science for 38 years he teaches, counsels, lectures, and has appeared on Channel 2 predicting the outcome of the last presidential election. He also initiated the group Astro Therapy and is currently working on a book. Honest, outspoken, straightforward, and freedom loving coupled with generosity are characteristics of this sign! A dedication to fitness has produced this ribbed, oversized, casual "mock" 23 y/o male, with a delicate teardrop face to match! The Doctor is in! Appointments available on limited basis. 10 x 7 velour probe likely to touch your tonsils from behind!

---

January 4 (Saturday)

The Sharkfighters

(year of release: 1956/network: TNT/air time: 4:15 a.m./allocated time: 105 min./actual running time: 82 min.)

A teen-ager's disillusionment with family and society leads him deeper and deeper into the world of malediction; hands drag. Again we say our cocks and stags are bred to fight and cut! Travis! Bruce and Lance are back!

January 5 (Sunday)

The Royal African Rifles

(1956/TBS/1:15 a.m./105 min./80 min.)

A young girl clings to the hope that her brother, missing in action during Eyes Bell All, is alive and well, of hold and cloak, on a slip-on recoil pad. Grey muff eggs, slasher cocks a specialty!

January 7 (Tuesday)

World Without End

(1956/MAX/2:40 a.m./90 min./80 min.)

An unusual telephone service presents a teen-age misfit with the opportunity to take revenge against a partridge-like bird called tinamou. Coops! Coops! Coops! Brown Red Hazards!

January 8 (Wednesday)

The Mad Magician

(1954/TBS/11:35 a.m./80 min./72 min.)

A private eye begins to believe that his client, a prostitute with schizophrenic tendencies, might know more about the murder of her psychiatrist than the two stock blanks she sawed from first ravaged switches. Headquarters for Ned Glaven Flarry Eyes!

I Escaped from Devil's Island

(1973/TNT/1:05 a.m./95 min./105 min.*)

(*The unedited Mexican cut runs a full 16 minutes longer than the bowdlerized American print.)

When a woman seeks excitement, she finds a little more than she bargained for. This is the deadly Jap blood! Simple, reliable Anson & Deeley design. Will smoothe up those scaly legs in only two applications! Chapel bright dark dream.

January 9 (Thursday)

All Night Long

(1961/MAX/3:00 a.m./100 min./?)

A champion kickboxer searching for a lost friend in Manila is kidnapped and forced to compete in a madman's ring of steel shoes. Lonely without road. The most deadly cutting jagger gaff of all times!

January 10 (Friday)

Don't Knock the Rock

(1956/MAX/8:50 p.m./90 min./84 min.)

A fortuneteller discovers that the son of her former lover is linked to a prophesy surrounding a perpetually collapsing fortress. Home of the Mortgage Lifters! Old say "hoops, gemstones."

January 11 (Saturday)

The Paratrooper (aka The Red Beret)

(1953/AMC/11:05 p.m./95 min./88 min.)

A grieving father forms a small force to rescue his son who has been held prisoner for 10 years after being declared an eternal tea-table. Was next worst, or twice-short woman? Formerly known as Save-the-Baby!

January 12 (Sunday)

Namu, the Killer Whale

(1966/TNT/7:45 p.m./115 min./89 min.)

Based on the mystery surrounding the inexplicable disappearance of And to the Hulks, a sailing ship found abandoned and adrift in 1872. Did I teach wine-drinking? "Stag won twice in fast company and won easily!"

January 13 (Monday)

Fathom

(1967/AMC/9:20 p.m./12o min./99 min.)

World War I takes a bite out of a young vaudevillian's romance with a fellow entertainer in this Titmarsh and Yellowplush spectacular from A. Page Angeles. Shufflers! Cocks that cut! Ask the man who meets one! Opened 1947 avenger; pulsed coarse hand-gift.

January 14 (Tuesday)

Rage (aka El Mal)

(1966/TNT/2:35 p.m./130 min./103 min.)

Based on the personal and professional tribulations of Georgie "One Hike" Fund; not one voice raised in protest! Self-starved into austere emaciation, one began running bordered sashes. Order your "Liftogen" today!

January 15 (Wednesday)

The Melody Master (aka New Wine)

(1941/MAX/6:20 a.m./100 min./87 min.)

An eccentric author's return to college is disrupted by the persistent attention of a journalism student who wants to write a story about a night in the Michigan woods. His seal again out, note to getting: "press on!" We regret our failing to ascertain just what the name "Campbell Blue" implies.

-Tom Smith